Over the River and Through the Woods

“Though the doctors treated him, let his blood, and gave him medications to drink, he nevertheless recovered.”    ― Leo Tolstoy

So, we went into the City on Wednesday for my quarterly visit to Colombia-Pres lung tx clinic.  Traffic through Jersey was the pits.  The usual dead stop for 20 minutes at Paterson, then just stop and go to Maywood and Hackensack.  Then just stop again for a while.  Then stuck on the Bridge for a bit, and finally to Milstein.  What a mess!  Scaffolding and construction vehicles EVERYWHERE.

The computers were down in registration.  Took a while.  Everyone in the tri-state area needed a chest x-ray at Herbert Irving.  Took a while again.  People were shouting in the lab down there, so I decided to pass and use the lab on 14.  Finally cleared the Pavilion for the marathon to NYPres. Hurried all the way.  But still w-a-a-y late for 6 min walk.  Hoped they would cancel to preserve their schedule, but N-o-o-o.

Again, I asked, why is it that they don’t meet us at Milstein, join us for the trek over and count that as our 6 min.?  Standard cop out:  They don’t make the rules.  Then who does make the rules for the 6 minute walk, if they don’t??  [15 yds. short of last time.  Consistency counts.]

Breezed through PFTs with 11% improvement.  Unexplainable but welcome.  On to 14th floor for bloodwork and clinic.  Customary two hour wait.  No biggie.  Lots of nice people.

Got bloodwork with customary hematoma and saw Dr. Robbins at 3:30 for my noon appointment.  AOK.  Always anticlimactic.  Good to see her, but she looks tired.

Rounded out the visit with a quick stop at infusion for annual Reclast.  Second marathon of the day to return to Milstein and valet parking.  Enjoyed the insanity that ensues daily from 5-6 pm as the lobby is full of discharged patients, visitors, people waiting for their cars.  Just glad to sit down.

Clear sailing over the bridge, back through NJ, dark to we couldn’t enjoy the scenery through Budd Lake and back to daughter’s house in Bethlehem.

Start time:  7:30 am.
End time: 7:30 pm.

Simply overwhelmed to hear of NYC’s first ebola patient the next morning.  These are exciting times.

~T, 10-24-2014

Time and the River

“Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.  ~Henry David Thoreau


Time moves fast at first, then slows.  By the time you are older, time slows and is harder to fill.  When you need time, you just don’t have it.

Weekends as a kid were never long enough.  There was so much to do.  School really infringed on life.

In college, we wasted too much time - discussing, debating, wondering, pondering.  Then we were rushed to get important things accomplished.

As a young adult, time flew.  There were jobs, people, relationships, houses, furniture, weddings, Masters, bigger jobs, kids.  There was no longer time to think, to consider, to savor.

Weekends were errands, day trips, soccer games, painting living rooms, trying to catch up with friends.  Next were the trips to Natureland, picking apples, track meets, allergy shots, and 4th grade fundraisers to Save the Whales. 

Whatever happened to spending three hours reading the Sunday papers?

All too soon, it was time for Parents Weekend, prom pictures, college reunions and talk of downsizing.  Time was spent going to garage sales, visiting parents in nursing homes and sadly going to funerals.

Life happened through all this, and we missed too much of it.  Now time is spent looking at the photos and remembering.  Now there is time to sit and think, to consider and to ponder the big questions.  What to have for dinner?  Whatever happened to the Sunday papers? 


Methinks I see the wanton hours flee,
And as they pass, turn back and laugh at me.
~George Villiers

~T, 10-13-2014

I am reminded of a kinder, gentler time …

"When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency."   
                                                                                       – Samuel Johnson

When I was a little girl, in the olden days, if someone tripped on the steps going into church:
1.  Everyone looked to be sure the person was all right, not hurt.
2.  Someone immediately moved to help.
3.  Everyone else quickly looked away and went about his business to minimize embarrassment.
4.  No one mentioned it again.

There have been so many advances now, in science, technology.  The world has come so far.  Now if someone does anything potentially embarrassing:

1.  Everybody looks and points.
2.  People whip out their cell phones to get video.
3.  The immediately upload the video to YouTube and then share on FaceBook.
4.  It goes viral with millions of views, is said to be trending, and is further shared on the news.

"News" used to mean things like:

1.  The name of one who was awarded a Nobel prize for service to humanity.
2.  Congress passed a bill to make life better for all Americans.  [No joke!]
3.  A new business was opening in a town near you.
4.  The school system was hiring additional staff to ensure a better education for all students.
5.  Here are the sports scores.
6.  Sadly, these friends and neighbors in our town have died.
7.  New babies have arrived to these happy parents.
8.  These events will be happening this week.
9.  Here are the classifieds AND today's crossword puzzle.
10.  For a good laugh, you and your kids can share our comic page!

There was no mention of Lindsay Lohan, the name of Kanye West's baby, which celebrity is in rehab this week or whom Charlie Sheen got fired for just cause [No, wait a minute, that was just because… ].  We didn't get instant coverage of what Paula Deen said twenty years ago - and decide to hold her accountable now.  But it is exciting to know that Twinkies will return to store shelves in July. [Not!]

I wish that civilization's advance had kept pace with that of science and technology.  This is not yet a happier, gentler time.


If we are forced, at every hour, to watch or listen to horrible events, this constant stream of ghastly impressions will deprive even the most delicate among us of all respect for humanity.
                                                     
-Cicero, Roman orator, philosopher and statesman


This last quote by Cicero, who lived from 106 to 43 B.C., is particularly appropriate in this day and age where we are constantly bombarded by horrific news. Wars, terrorism, murder, rape, natural disasters, man-made disasters and more inundate us every day. Cicero's quote proves that what Solomon said is true: "There is nothing new under the sun".

There Is No Planet B

In colonial times, people did for themselves.  People were self-reliant and depended on neighbors who had skills for specialized items:  blacksmith, chandler, cooper, etc.  People didn't shop much.

Later, came the general store where people got their basic supplies - staples, fabric - the tools to continue to do for themselves.  For the most part, everything was "homemade."  Clothes were made.  They didn't come from Malaysia.  Some shoes and boots came from the cobbler.  Others were simply fashioned at home.

Nobody went anywhere to buy a loaf of bread or a can of soup.  There was the milk man [also egg, bread, farm-fresh vegetables, etc.], then catalogs from Sears, Montgomery Ward, Burpee Seed [which also sold LIVE mail order poultry!], door-to-door sales fr Watkins, World Book, McCormack door-to-door spices, Amway, Fuller Brush.

Then came "downtown."  There were shops to buy hats and buttons, bakeries, barbershops.  It was all very "modern."  In big cities came Barnes and Noble [1873], A&P [1859], Macy's [1858] and Bloomingdales [1861]!  People were living in a commercial wonderland.  Who could ask for more!

Yet, more they got - with strip malls, outlet malls, and big box stores.  Then infomercials, online ordering and personal shoppers. 

What next??

This is the miasma that is current consumerism.  Producers, consumers, and finally the big business of the whole recycling component.  The options just make a body quiver with anticipation.  But we've got to clean up our act.  We've got to get it together.  We need more slogans!!  No - we need to actually understand that the best things in life are not things.  Shopping evolved to meet our needs.  It's time for us to evolve to meet our own needs and save our home.  It's time to do for ourselves again.

 

Bottom line:  I consume and recycle.  

Stan produces and recycles.  

Together, we have a zero economic 

and environmental footprint.  

We are so very proud.  

But the question remains -

What next!?

~T, 02-16-2013

But I Don't Want to Say Goodbye …

Sometimes life just seems like chapters full of good-byes.  There is an end to things no matter how much we want to hold onto them.

Sometimes my heart just aches.  I've lost too many people.  In the quiet, the sense of loss overwhelms.  I miss so many people but then I stop to consider Stan's perspective.

Stan retired in 1994.  The VA needed to downsize its senior staff and offered an irresistible retirement package.  He called my office on Tuesday morning and said that he was retiring on Friday.  It was exciting!  I took a disability retirement two years later due to asthma and chronic bronchitis.  I was okay, just slower than I had been, and I tired easily.  I was certainly prone to infection and had repeated sinus infections.  I didn't realize how limited I had become until I was put on oxygen - and eventually had a lung transplant.

Stan fussed and took care of me.  He is still overprotective and still fusses.

But since he retired, together we taken care of many critically ill people in their final days.  We've lost Stan's father, his Uncle John, his Aunt Stephanie, my mother Bette - and so very many close friends.  Our circle of close friends included many transplant recipients and their support group.  And all the while, Stan fussed and took care of me.

When we first approached the idea of a lung transplant, the team talked in terms of one year, three year, five year survival rates.  It trades one fatal condition for a different condition that is complicated medically and usually short-lived.   [Stan continues to fuss and take care of me.]

We all know about the survival rates going in, but the alternative is unacceptable.  So we go forward.  We do it together.  We become very close, sharing such a live-changing experience.  When a transplant friend dies, there is a missing piece in the group and a missing piece in my heart.  I hate a friend going through the pain of loss of a close loved one and not being able to do anything about it.

Stan has grieved for family and friends.  He is stressed watching transplant friends struggle wondering if we're next.  It's hard for me to lose people, but I always know that I'm all right.  I can feel the strength.  Stan watches my face for a sign.  He can't feel what I feel and is never certain that I am all right.  It's harder for him than it is for me.  He never says much.  He just fusses over me.

~~~

For family, and for so many friends:  it gets harder and harder every day knowing that you are no longer in this world with us.   We still haven't been able to accept the fact you're gone... we miss you:  Stan, John, Margie, Stephanie, Bette, Donna and Donna, Elaine, Patty, Judy.  Gary!  Sheila.  Heidi and Mary.  John, Isabel, Bill, Dave and Dick.

Everyone loses people they love.  Families feel it because it's part of living;  soldiers feel it and it affects them forever;  medical teams feel it every day.  People always sympathize and suggest that it will get easier, that time will help heal.

I don't want it to get easier.  All those people, the family, the friends are too important to forget.  It shouldn't be easy.  In life, the things that are really important are never easy.

Softly the leaves of memory fall,
   gently, I gather and treasure them all.


Unseen, unheard, you are always near,
   so loved, so missed, so very dear.

~T, 02-9-2013

Tour de Farce

Today began with a list representing a tour de force. When the government made "adjustments" recently to avoid going over "a fiscal cliff," unexpected changes ensued. Suddenly we were faced with an arbitrary deadline to complete filing for Stan's mother's Medicaid: February 1! We were told on Monday, January 28 that all financial matters must be finalized by Friday, February 1. [Holy crap!!]

After completing a whole lot of stuff earlier, and treading water through three day waiting periods to close accounts, we set off to seal the deal, put the lid on, wrap it up, nail it down. This day is going to require a whole lot of coffee.

10:00 a.m.: Checked with our attorney and then stopped at Wells Fargo Investments, First Niagara Bank, NBT, quick run to the Post Office, [coffee stop @ Byrne], back to First Niagara, to the Federal Bldg., and STOP [12:30 p.m.]. Next/last major check will be ready at Merrill Lynch in Syracuse after 2:00 p.m.

What to do? What to do?? Pit stop at the Indians, and MORE COFFEE! And we're off again.

12:30 p.m.: Took $22 worth of cans to the recycling center in Oneida, took Route 49 north of the lake to Weeden's Antique/Variety Mini-Mall/Store. Bought nothing, but considered all manner of treasures, and on to Syracuse.

2:05: Downtown Syracuse on South Salina, to Merrill Lynch. Picked up final check to close out last account, thanked the nicest people in the world at Merrill Lynch [pleasant, co-operative, HELPFUL]. Called attorney again to report final totals and headed back to Clinton.

3:30 p.m.: Attorney called with final instructions about cash distribution/accounts.

4:10 p.m.: To First Niagara, to NBT to use two existing accounts and open one new account. Reported success to attorney, headed back to First Niagara to close last account. On to post office again, and to Hannafords for a rotisserie chicken. DONE, THROUGH, FINISHED.

It would appear that we have, indeed, completed the paperwork necessary to secure Helen's Medicaid payments. My arm is exhausted from waving around the Power of Attorney all day.

What began as a Tour de Force degenerated to a Tour de Farce. A silver Prius with the speed of light, a splash of slush and a hearty Gimme the Money! The Lone Money Changer rides for the Last Time!

Just as a puppy can be more of a challenge than a gift,
so too can the holidays.

~ John Clayton


I'm sorry to hear that Pres. Bush 41 is having such a difficult time. He's a good man. We are suffering here with what is apparently the same viral syndrome. We've taken to calling it Presidential flu. It has been going around, and we started our first bout at Thanksgiving time. We've done the cough, the nausea, the fever, the aches and the weakness. Then we did it again - and we are on our third round. Just deciding that we are better isn't enough. Mind over matter. Just suck it up doesn't work with this one. We're currently hoping that antibiotics do work!

Due to the persistence of Prezflu, Christmas and Hanukkah were cancelled here. I began to think about wrapping presents. And making shortbread. Sending out Christmas cards. Getting the tree up. How 'bout the lights on the porch? Need to marinate the turkey.

I decided to sit down and think about it some more until it was a reasonable time to take a nap. We finally decided that we didn't want grandchildren to get sick. Stan's mother at the nursing home was already sick - and NO ONE would be allowed a Christmas visit with her. And I was pretty sure I couldn't even LIFT the turkey.

We'll try again in January.
We have lots of birthdays then, too.
Makes a lot more sense.

So - Ho, Ho, Ho, y'all.
~T, 12-27-2012